Unrequited Love

There’s this guy at our church of whom i like. I met him last year at church. The first thing I noticed about him is his smile, it’s like he’s some kind of a toothpaste endorser on tv. He’s pretty cute,fun to be with and very outgoing.

I took notice of him April of this year and we started hanging out . Later on I started feeling afraid that i might wake up one day and have feelings other than friendship towards him. So,I started praying to God to not let me fall or have a crush on him for days. You might wonder why i was having that kind of prayer,it’s because he got dumped by his girlfriend a month back and he’s waaay too in love. I know right then that it’ll turn out one-sided. Seconds,minutes,hours,days and months passed i was in denial until i couldn’t take it in anymore and I knew Love hit me.

Some time later, I noticed some changes on how he treats me. I kept silent and just continue observing him without spoiling my cover. I still act the same in front of him. No one,not even a soul noticed that i have feelings for him until i confessed them to my friends.

As u might guess, I started assuming and put meanings to his actions with the help of my ever supportive friends ,deciphering every bit of it. I know it’s not good and that we’re putting malice on things,so I told them to stop but they never listened. I prayed and commit them all to God ,that whatever His plans are ,I know it’s for my greater good.

We still hang out and got closer by the day until he was assigned some place and had to leave. I was down and depressed. I then started to distanced my self and noticed he was doing the same to me. But, it didn’t last long.

Now he’s there somewhere and im here still praying. I thanked God that this happened to me because I was blessed beyond measure and I learned a lot of things. For the first time in forever i realized and felt that it’s not that hard to wait when u know it’s worth it, even if you don’t have an idea if there’s something to wait for. I was always at peace with my feelings towards him and with God. I know that all of this comes from Him and that this won’t just end here, it was only the beginning

God’s love

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Have you ever done something you wished you didn’t do?

Said something you wished you didn’t say? 

Did something and then later on realized it was stupid and feel ashamed?

I Did.

There are a lot of things in my life that I wished I didn’t do, hoping I could time travel and change it. Said a lot of awful and awkward stuff and asked myself a lot times “Why can’t I just shut up?” Well, things happen for a reason is what they’d say but WHAT exactly is the reason?

One of the many reasons I could think of is LOVE. Love can make the smartest kid in your class stupid, It covers over a multitude of sins according to the Bible and it has the power to blindfold and control you. Did you notice that people who are in love are the hardest one’s to talk with, specially if they’re not in the right kind of relationship God wants them to be. 

When feelings of love starts, we became conscious on how we look and tried to look beautiful just to be noticed by someone or the person we like.That’s where we do all sort of things. I remember when I was in my Sophomore year, I had a crush with one of my classmate, so I started wearing dangling earrings to look pretty and then I tried to look fancy because I’ve heard that his family were rich( so as not to look stupid and very poor you know.). Later, I found out that they aren’t rich at all and I look twice as ugly with those earrings on.You see, the thing about love is that before you even realized what you did was stupid, you’ve already done it. There’s no turning back, you have to face it and feel shame.

Despite of it all, we still love and get hurt. We still look for that someone who’ll love us and would be more than willing to grow old with us and while we are busy scouting for a prospective guy/girl to be with, God is already there loving us unconditionally, He even died on the cross for our sins for us. He’s been so faithful pursuing us when we’re so busy in the world and we forgot all about Him.That’s the greatest love one can give to someone.